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I will
not drink from the toilet bowl and then lick my master'/mistress' face I
will not intimidate younger humans into giving me their food.
If
my owner doesn't share his/her food with me, I will not nudge him/her.
I
will not pull the tablecloth off to make the food more accessible on
the floor.
I
will not eat crayons, no matter how pretty it looks coming out the
other end.
These
are not food: used tissues, soap bars, Christmas ornaments, credit
cards, CD's, shoes.
I
will not jump up on my owner when he/she gets home from work and is
wearing good clothes.
My
owners don't need to get soaked just because I'm getting a bath.
I
will not lick my owner's face after cleaning my private parts.
There
are certain places on my master that is not OK to grip when playing.
When
my owner's stomach growls in the middle of the night, I will not
respond by attacking it.
When
my owners are kissing, I will not whine jealously and try to force
myself between them.
When
my owner is putting on socks, I won't take this as a sign to start a
game of tug-of-war.
I
will not lie on my owner pinning him/her on the floor.
When
my owner has me on a leash, I will not bolt at 50 miles/hour when I
notice a new smell.
When
pulling my owner on the leash, I will occasionally allow my front feet
to touch the ground.
I
will not howl when my owner is practicing the piano/violin/trumpet.
I will stop licking my mistress's legs when she steps from
the shower, or when she has put on lotion.
I
will leave room in the bed for my owner.
When
out driving, I will not press my face piteously against the window so
that people will think I'm being abducted.
I
will not tread on the electric window switch when my owner has his/her
arm out of the window.
Whenever
someone comes to visit, I will not jump up and leave claw marks on
their car.
I
will not suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee
table.
I understand that the vacuum is not an enemy invader. I
will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I
must shake rainwater / pool-water from my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I
will not eat the cat's food either before, or after, they eat
it & I will not eat the cat!
I
will not roll on dead or smelly things when out walking.
I
will not wake my owner up by sticking my cold, wet nose between his/her
toes, stealing the blanket, laying on his/her face or nibbling on
his/her feet.
I
will not steal my owner's underwear and dance all over the backyard
with it.
Have More Doggie Humor? Send it to us .Dancin' SetterS Georgianne Do not follow where the path may lead.....Go instead and make your own path and leave a trail..........Emerson |
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a step above
